Caregiving is very tough, so you should get as much support as you can in order to help you through the time that you take care of your aging parents. Its a fact that people are living longer and many Baby Boomers will be responsible for their aging parents or other elderly family members. This can be quite a challenging and frustrating obligation.
Because the elderly parent is sometimes very reluctant to give up their independence (even though you know its the best thing for them), they can be quite stubborn about it. I’m now dealing with this very same issue with my mother. My dad passed away in 2006 and we had Hospice to help us (thank God for those angels), so that was not an issue. With my mother, its been quite a different story, very challenging, sad, and frustrating at the same time.
As a caregiving Baby Boomer, there are some simple things you can do to make it easier for you and your aging parent or other family member. A sense of humor, imagination, and compassionate understanding can go a long way! Sometimes an elderly parent is unable (or does not care) to give back anything, including being thankful for all of the big and little things you do for them. I can attest to this first hand because my mother rarely thanks me for anything (sigh). I just tell myself that she is thankful, but just doesn’t know how to express it to me.
Keep their living environment light and well-ventilated. My mom would never open her blinds, so every time I went to visit her, the first thing I would do was to open them! Plants, framed artwork, and family photos are always a good thing to have around the place they live in to give it a more ‘homey’ feel. Also, the photos might help them talk about the memories they had enjoyed over the years. Even though my mom can’t play the piano anymore or work on her beautiful quilts, they are still lovely reminders of how creative she was.
Growing older does not mean the elderly parent has to give up all of their independence. They may need help with some things such as paying their bills or unscrewing tops from bottles and jars (like I do for my mom because of her arthritic hands). Talk to them about what they really need help with (dressing, bathing, which can be embarrassing for them) before you decide to just take care of everything! Help them find new activities such as putting a ‘community’ puzzle together with other elderly patients (interaction with others their age is always a good thing) or getting their hair done. The most important things are to be compassionate, loving, and understanding as much as you can. I know it can be very frustrating at times, but this is where your total patience comes in handy!
As caretakers of an elderly parent, its easy to rush through the time that you take care of them because we are all so busy with our own lives, but before you go through the normal routine of caregiving, try to take the time to also evaluate their emotional needs. Taking these needs into consideration as well as the daily everyday caregiving needs can truly make a big difference as to whether you’re an exceptional caregiver or just a ‘so so’ one.
Read the article on this blog about caregiving tips for Baby Boomers caring for their elderly parents, by Dr. Vicki Rackner.
To help Baby Boomers find more tips to caregiving for their aging parents, the following links are great resources:
www.agingcare.com: This website has excellent information on housing and daily care for the aging parents. It also gives resources for finding local senior care providers, caregiver support, money and legal support, senior and elderly health problems.
Caregiver Guide: The National Institute on Aging has a lot of information for people who are caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease.
www.journeytowellness.com: This website is an online health magazine directed toward African Americans. It offers shared stories and tips for the caregiving of elderly parents.
ElderCare Online: “ElderCare Online is a beacon for people caring for aging loved ones. Whether you are caring for a spouse, parent, relative or neighbor, we are committed to providing an online community where supportive peers and professionals help you improve quality of life for yourself and your elder.”
www.homeinstead.com: This website is about personalized care in the comfort of a loved one’s home. “To you, it’s about finding trustworthy care for your aging loved one. To us, it’s about providing the highest-quality in-home care services to fit you and your family’s needs.”
